Mistress Marge
Marge is one of the most dangerous Church members because of her seemingly inhuman strength. She can be a sweet lady and as solid as a rock. She runs the Church Gym and specializes in strength training and sports nutrition. She serves as muscle for the Church and sometimes a fitness mistress who wrestles for charity. She often displays androgynous characteristics, that is: feminine (expressive) and masculine (instrumental) traits, leading many to believe that she may be intersexual or even bi-gendered. __TOC__ Childhood/Her First KO Marguerite Elizabeth Lighthammer was born on the Ayani Reservation in Arizona. Her father Chief Lighthammer was known as “Flaccid Bovine” and it was from his gene pool that she inherited what seemed like inhuman strength. Marge had been struggling with her sexuality for as long as she could remember. She experienced her first orgasm at age 10 while horseback riding on a family trip. Her mother, an over-religious fundamentalist, saw this as “impure” and spanked Marge for wetting herself. At age 17, Marge’s mother caught her masturbating in the bathroom; the climax Marge experienced caused her to squirt, which alarmed her Christian mother so much that she decided that she was going to rid marge of her sinful sexual urges by trying to slice off Marge’s genitals with a meat cleaver. Marge fractured her mother’s jaw and beat her in the face so badly, her mother required 30 stitches. College & Sexual Assault Marge moved to Pennsylvania with her father where she finished high school and got a job at a local fitness club while she went to college. One night, after being inducted into a sorority, Marge was gang raped by a group of frat brothers. She never reported the assault to the police; instead she went after the frat brothers and beat them up. The brothers never went to the police, because they didn’t want anybody knowing that they’d been beat up by a woman. Professional Sports Career Marge began watching exercise shows and soon aspired to be a female bodybuilder. She dedicated her life to strength training and better nutrition. After graduating from college, Marge began auditioning to be on fitness shows. When that didn’t pan out for her, she began competing in figure competitions, which opened up many doors for her in the fitness industry. Marge eventually made a professional cheerleading team. She preferred to be on a dance team, but was constantly being cut for her size and stature. Cheerleading was a last resort, because Marge was able to easily lift other girls (and she loved being around hot chicks in short skirts). While on the squad, she was hated by both genders, but they didn’t dare mess with her in fear of being beaten senseless by her. Recruited by Magda The squad had made it to the nationals being held in the city of Cankerton in Fale County, New Jersey. Marge, however, fell down after a fellow teammate allegedly “brushed against her clitoris” during a tumble, arousing her, causing her to have a brief orgasm on stage. The squad lost the competition and the coach kicked Marge off the squad. Marge was devastated, because she had no way back home and was counting on winning the competition to pay for her expenses. The squad captain followed Marge to the nearby bus stop outside the convention center and taunted Marge, blaming Marge for their loss and Marge ended up knocking her out. Lady Magda was at the bus stop waiting to go to the airport and took note of Marge’s inhuman strength. She told Marge about the Holy Father Church and how they could use a fitness instructor for the newly built gym. Oracle of the Bomb Lady Marge once assisted the Masked Bastard on a trip to the Atlas Mountains in Morocco to find a metal ship called “The Barga”. Along with Mystique B, Denizen Mouse and Mr. R Mcgeddon, they were ambushed by Def and his Whores, who were posing as mountain climbing guides. iRobucket fired a laser meant to kill R Mcgeddon, but the blast was absorbed by Marge, who jumped in the line of fire to save him. Marge was severely injured and required medical attention. Once the Arch Bishop found the Barga and awoke a powerful Exo-Thermic being known as the Bomb, he asked the Bomb if he could change the fate of one of his Bishops. The Bomb agreed to save Marge’s life, but only if she gave herself to him. Marge, who was in unbearable agony after exhausting R Mc’s cache of morphine, agreed to be his herald. The Bomb then proceed to “mind fuck” Marge into total submission, causing her to have a powerful orgasm. He left his celestial imprint on Marge and she became his oracle and mistress. Phony Love Life & Coming Out Marge began a relationship with Bishop R Mcgeddon, one that would end bitterly and test the bounds of their friendship. Marge honestly tried to convince herself that she was heterosexual, but her urges and deep inner feelings told her otherwise. She couldn’t tell R Mc how she truly felt, because he made it clear to her that he despised homosexuals. But when she found herself at the altar exchanging vows with R Mc, she decided that she couldn’t marry him by professing her love for Sadie. Mac nearly lost it, but accepted Marge for who she was. And even though their sexual relationship fell apart, they still remained good friends and worked together for the benefit of the Holy Father Church. The Real Motherfucking Deal After breaking up with Bishop R Mcgeddon, Marge instantly pursued Lady Sadie, hoping to snag the young blonde and make her submit. Marge confessed to Rwanda that she fantasizes about having sex with Sadie. Rwanda only told Marge to be honest with her feelings. When Marge finally got the courage to confront Sadie, she made her bid on the Mother of the Internet Saviour by kissing her. When Sadie rejected her advances, Marge decided to take a break from both sexes until she could get her shit together, knowing in her heart that she was just plain confused. But in all honest, Marge would seriously finger-bang Sadie until she squirts. Shit Nobody Cares About Favorite Things Bowflex, Total Gym, protein shakes, multiple orgasms Hobbies Beating up men, flexing, pumping up, jogging, showering Did You Know...? Marge: *is often mistaken for a man *is from the Ayani poeple, meaning "bison" *loves fruit flavored protein shakes *can lift up to 5 tons when she's angry *can crack walnuts with her buttcheeks *can squirt up to 8 feet during an orgasm *has a condition known as Super-Ultra Clitoromegalia (a huge clit) Mistress Marge Gallery Marge-bomb.jpg|Marge and The Bomb Marge-mac-wedding.jpg|Marge and Mac at a doomed wedding. Sadie-marge-kiss.jpg|Denial is not a river in Egypt. Stained-glass-marge.jpg|Stained Glass Depiction of Marge Category:Bishops of Bastard characters